Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker


Right now, there are so many animated gifs on the site that you might have a seizure. However, It would be the sweetest seizure of all time.

For those of you wondering what the hell is going on, this is a Tecmo Bowl-inspired animation of Najeh Davenport. It comes from one of my all-time favorite sports satire sites, SAS Wiki. And yes, that is Najeh Davenport dropping fecal matter into a basket of dirty clothes. Full Dump Truck glory.

Najeh is pictured primarily because he kicked some major ass against the Seattle Mocha Lattes. Although Najeh is in Green Bay colors, here, it was worth it to use this graphic.

What better way to forget last week’s travesty than with a good, old fashioned shutout. 21-zip Good Guys. Take that, bitchy Seattle fans who can’t let go of the Super Bowl XL loss.

Tale of the tape: Big Ben’s efficiency. Underlying theme: Dominance despite injuries.

If Seattle hadn’t failed to show up, Big Ben had a chance to erase Bubby Brister from the franchise record books. He finished with 13 straight completions, two shy of Brister’s record. Unfortunately for Bennifer, the game was all but won, there was no need to risk a pass, and Charles Batch cleaned up the game.

All in all, the game was a remarkable turnaround from last week. The team started off rather sluggish, but absolutely dominated from the end of the second quarter through the end of the game. And this without several key starters.

Let’s digest:

Ben. After starting the game 5 for 9, Ben completed his next 13, allowing him to finish 18 for 22, with 206 yards and a score. That, my friends, is a 120.8 QB rating. That, my friends, is how you win ballgames. Even with a ragtag receiving corps that was without Hines Ward and San Antonio Holmes, Ben was able to get the job done, distributing passes to nearly everyone else on the team. Fullbacks, Tight Ends, former Punt Returners…everyone decided to get in on the action. The biggest stat might be zero…as in turnovers by the Quarterback. Ben’s counterpart threw the costly interception on the goal line this game. Ben didn’t. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the efficient game.

Bill Parker/Dump Truck. What a wicked combo. Willie will get his yards, 102 on 28 carries, and Najeh will be there on 3rd down/short yardage. One of the biggest question marks this past offseason was who would fill the void left by Bettis two years earlier. Najeh worked well last season, and has done nothing but progressed since. Dude broke so many tackles against Seattle, and scored twice. Combined, Fast Bill Davenport rushed 35 times for 160 yards and those two scores. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. This is what needs to happen week in and week out.

Receiving Corps. Last week, San Antonio shined…and that was it. This week, Hines remained on the sidelines, and San Antonio joined him. This could have been disastrous for the Steelers, but everyone else decided to step it up. Heath and Ced both caught at least 4 passes while averaging at least 11 yards per, and guys like Carey Davis and Willie Reid came to play as well. Najeh grabbed his share of passes, and Nate Washington got in on the act, too. I nearly blew a fuse when I heard San Antonio wouldn’t be playing after injuring his hammy in pre-game warm ups, but the receiving corps made the game easier to watch. Seattle should have been able to exploit the fact that our top two receivers were prowling the sidelines. They didn’t. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the other guys.

Dee. This week, the D wanted to keep pace with the O in key players watching from the side. Casey Hampton and Troy Polamalu kicked it lightly on the side while the guys who came to play did just that. For those of you counting at home, the D has allowed just 47 points through the first 5 games. That’s the fourth-best start in franchise history, bested only by three Steelers teams that played in the ’30s. Who says the Steel Curtain died in the ’80s? Who said Joey Porter shouldn’t have been let go? Who said our Defensive Backs were too small? The D pitched a shutout, all while holding Seattle to under 150 total yards offensively. I can’t give anything less than 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for that. Job well done.

The only thing wrong is that we get no Black and Gold next week. I might lose my mind…

Quantcast