Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker


We won. Can’t ask for much more than that. However, Ben and Fast Bill did little to impress, and the 24-10 win can be credited to Heath, Hines and the D.

Faced with less bog-like conditions than Monday, the Steelers still needed to overcome serious weather. I was pissed that I had to walk out tin the rain to get something outta my car. Playing a football game in that nasty stuff had to be awful.

Ben complained about the wet ball early, but was able to reverse his fortunes after throwing a costly interception in the first quarter. On the flip side, Carson Palmer started efficient, but then proceeded to stink up Heinz Field no matter which direction he was going.

Despite the shady offense, the team looked more like a team capable of bringing down the Patriots in a week. I wasn’t ready to say that after the Jets and the Fins game. I’m ready now. Resiliency, baby. We fought through the conditions and the awful start to create a decent win.

Tale of the tape: A win is a win. Underlying theme: Our D is the (collective) man.

Ben and Bill won’t be getting 4s and 5s this week.

Ben. Eh. I’ve seen better. I’ve seen worse. We can look a this performance either way. He sucked early, but turned things around throughout. Or…he blamed his struggles on the conditions, threw some awful passes and only completed as many passes as he did because Hines and Heath had glue on their hands. Ben was the winning QB, so I’ll try to be positive. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Yeah, I’ve been giving fractions of helmets lately, but Ben can’t make these same mistakes next week. CANNOT. This won’t be stressed enough.

Bill. Gross. Stupid Jerome Bettis elbow condoms. Why didn’t he take those bitches off? I’m not going to place the blame solely on those, however. Bill was trying to cut down on fumbles this season, and for the most part, he succeeded to this point. Fact of the matter is…Bill put the ball on the turf too much…overturned fumble or not. He somehow found a way to get 87 yards, which nearly redeemed him. Still…dude needs to find the endzone. Soon. 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Score, brother.

Hines. Round of applause, everyone. The record (64 receiving TDs) is his. No more looking towards Stallworth. Hines has cemented his legacy in the ‘Burgh on more than one occasion, and this record was merely the icing on the cake. Sure, Stallworth and Swann took catches and touchdowns away from each other, but Hines has had to deal with Kordell, Kent, Tommy, etc. And he hauled in 11 damn catches a week after snagging 9. Well done. He gets 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Heath. Needs the ball more. He isn’t a safety blanket. He’s a game changer. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

D. Just like Ben, they faltered early, but found a way to completely turn around their performance. The D rallied after allowing an early TD, and each guy stepped up big time. Look at those stats. 2 guys with 8 tackles, one with 7, three with 6. Farrior, Foote and Carter were absolute beasts all game. This is the second straight game in which that trio belittled the opposition. That early TD damaged the ego a bit, but the D still allowed less points (10) than their prior season average (13.2). They’re now allowing 12.9 a game. Ridiculous. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets. No 5 here because of that first drive Cincy TD.

If you don’t know who we play next week, you are stupid. We’ll win. Write that down.

nicholas

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