Other Unproven Pitching Signings by the Pittsburgh Pirates

We’ve just found out that our lowly Pirates have signed Indian “pitchers” Rinku and Dinesh, two guys that have never played baseball. Ever. That’s why I put quotes around pitchers.

The guys (who have an unintentionally hilarious blog, language barriers are ALWAYS, ALWAYS funny) now have a minor league contract in place with the team. With our recent string of success, I’d venture to say that the two will be up facing big league batters before the All-Star Game.

Pittsburgh is obviously trying to find any talent it can, in the hopes of a low-risk, high-reward kinda deal. These guys only worked out for Major League scouts after winning some contest to see who had the strongest and most accurate arms in India.

But there have been other Pirates signings over the past few days that haven’t registered with the general public as much as the Rinku and Dinesh deals. The Buccos are completely transforming their pitching staff with a bunch of unproven, big arms that weren’t in the league last year. Hell, anything that’ll get us closer to 90 wins rather than losses.

So what other unproven acts will be on the Pirates mound this year?

Lincoln Hawk. He’s been pumping up his throwing arm in his truck.

Mega Man.

Olympic hottie Leryn Franco.
The kid from Rookie of the Year.
A T-Shirt/Hot Dog Cannon.
That 16 year old, Japanese knuckleballer chick.
Kool Aid Man. (‘Cos he’s a pitcher…forget it)
All big signings, no doubt. Go Pirates!

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