Big Ben Went Back In Time And Decided To Wear A Helmet

I realize that Big Ben/motorcycle jokes are about as stale as some rice cakes that jerks try to pass off as an acceptable snack food, but this one is partly acceptable.

It appears our fat, beautifully-faced, Chrysler-encountering franchise quarterback was able to go back in time and prepare for the near-fatal motorcycle crash that was to come. And Little Big Ben is trying to foster positive habits…like wearing a helmet when on his hog. He got on the helmet-wearing tip as a kid, so his inevitable head-on with the Chrysler New Yorker might be less severe.

But then his face wouldn’t be so symmetrical thanks to the resulting surgery. Each decision Little Big Ben makes in the past will affect his future…so who knows…maybe the 2006 season would’ve been better than 8-8. Or maybe Ben wouldn’t get a second ring in XLIII! This is like some really crappy version of The Butterfly Effect or something. Which means it would be the same thing as The Butterfly Effect, then.

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