Awful Pirates



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As Pirates fans, we’re in a unique situation in that our baseball team has set the record for most consecutive losing seasons by a professional sports team. Since the 1992 NLCS, we haven’t had a team that has sniffed a .500 record. Needless to say, every team for the bulk of the 90s and 2000s had players on it that were absolutely terrible. Sure, other teams can boast some absolute wastes of roster spaces, but when you couple in the repeated mediocrity of the Pirates organization, you get a unique perspective on baseball in Pittsburgh.

We’ll remember Jason Bay, Brian Giles, Jason Kendall. Same with the Freak Show squad…Randa, Loaiza, Young, Schmidt. Hell, for whatever reason, we’ll remember guys like Jay Bell, Jeff King, Jack Wilson, Xavier Nady. But there were the others. There were the Awful Pirates.

Yesterday on Twitter, I started the #AwfulPirates hashtag, to have a laugh at the chumps who attempted to Raise the Jolly Roger at Three Rivers or PNC through the 90s and 2000s. You’ve got a basic 20-year period (still ongoing) where the team was just awful, and these guys sorta tell you why. I picked the most random, terrible, vomit-inducing of the Twitter results to this point. However, there are plenty more…I tried to grab them all but realized I didn’t care that much after I was like 10% done. So maybe we’ll leave the others for future installments of Awful Pirates on PSAMP. You came up with plenty.

This slideshow is kinda like a box of your most horrible baseball cards. These are the ones you’d want your mom to throw away.

So if you have a Twitter account, make sure to call out the worst of the worst Pirates from the last 2 decades, and tag it with #AwfulPirates. And follow me, if you want.

Oh, and I feel the need to justify showing Alex Cole in a Rockies jersey. He played for the Buccos in the 92 NLCS, and doesn’t really have a Pirates card.

Those in this slideshow (Installment 1):

Adam Hyzdu

Alex Cole

Al Martin

Bill Landrum

Blas Minor

Bobby Hill

Brant Brown

Chad Hermansen

Chris Stynes

Ed Sprague

Gary Varsho

Jacob Brumfield

Jeff Reboulet

Jermaine Allensworth

John Smiley

Mark Johnson

Midre Cummings

Orlando Merced

Pat Meares

Rich Aude

Stan Belinda

Steve Buechele

Steve Cooke

Tom Prince

Turner Ward

Vicente Palacios

William Pennyfeather

*i had everyone who submitted these credited, but then the internet ate the article half-way through. so a major hat tip to everyone who named an awful pirate. -tec

nicholas

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